Methods of Eliminating Wordiness

1. Replace circumlocutions with direct expressions.

• Example: Raskolnikov first catches sight of Sonia when she arrives at Marmeladov's deathbed.
• Correction: Raskolnikov first sees Sonia when she arrives at Marmeladov's deathbed.

2. Change phrases into single words.

• Example: The narrator presents a contradiction, leading the reader to question which scenario is a dream and which is reality.
• Correction: The narrator's contradiction leads the reader to question which scenario is a dream and which is reality.

3. Reword unnecessary infinitive phrases.

• Example: Milton expresses Satan's evil joy at tempting Eve to come to the forbidden tree.
• Correction: Milton expresses Satan's evil joy at tempting Eve to the forbidden tree.

4. Use active rather than passive verbs.

• Example: In the event that a prisoner is introduced into the outside world and is flooded with sudden knowledge, it would take a while for him to become accustomed to his new life.
• Correction: If a prisoner were to enter the outside world and suddenly experience knowledge, it would take a while for him to become accustomed to his new life.

5. Avoid overusing noun forms of verbs.

• Example: Fifteen-year-old Connie's lack of respect for authority is an exhibition of her extraordinary free will.
• Correction: Fifteen-year-old Connie's lack of respect for authority exhibits her extraordinary free will.

6. Omit repetitive wording.

• Example: Connie is not forced to go outside; she does so by exercising her free will in order to save her once-hated sister and parents from harm.
• Correction: Connie exercises her free will to go outside in order to save her once-hated sister and parents from harm.

7. Eliminate unnecessary determiners.

• The fathers of John's society "forbade the Dead Places" in order to protect the society from destruction.
• John's forefathers "forbade the Dead Places" to protect the society from destruction.

8. Change unnecessary "that" clauses.

• John's interest in literature and desire to learn display a curiosity similar to that of the freed prisoner and unlike the blind obedience to religion that he experiences before his enlightenment.
• John's interest in literature and desire to learn display a curiosity similar to that of the freed prisoner and unlike his blind obedience to religion before his enlightenment.